


Fuck My Life Up

by lmontyy



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Romance, TLOU, The Last of Us - Freeform, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, but they still cute tho, ellie and dina, ellie and dina being horny for each other but not saying it for over 7000 words, ellie williams, ellie x dina, like seriously theyre clueless, the last of us 2, the last of us part 2 - Freeform, the last of us part ii, the last of us part two, tlou 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmontyy/pseuds/lmontyy
Summary: Ellie does whatever she can to avoid asking Dina to a party for Valentine's Day, as she is entirely sure Dina would never feel the same for her as she does for her on and off relationship with Jesse. But it becomes very evident that maybe, just maybe, Ellie is terribly mistaken, especially when Dina can't stop eyeing her body up and down whenever she gets the chance.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 271





	Fuck My Life Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Valentine's Day fic I decided to write last minute!  
> > Please listen to "FML" by Arizona Zervas while reading this! It's the whole inspiration to this fic and it's a good ass song ^^ <

“You’re gonna ask her, right?”

Ellie loved Izabelle. She was among her closest friends, among her oldest friends in Jackson. But sometimes, she was so god damn irritating to be on shift with.

It was February 13th, and Ellie was working her usual guard shift at one of the corner towers of Jackson, accompanied by her lovely friend Izabelle. She was short, sweet, a little chubby with glasses and shoulder-length brown hair. Both of them brandished long rifles and sat up on the northeastern corner tower, watching out to the woods.

Grabbing her head, elbow propped up on the armrest, she sighed. “No, Iz, I’m not.”

The pout and the whining immediately followed.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Izabelle demanded, devastation lacing her voice.

The entirety of their six-hour morning shift, she had been bugging Ellie about asking a certain someone out on a date for Valentine’s Day, which was torturously the next day.

Truthfully, Ellie hated Valentine’s Day. Maybe it was just her pessimistic attitude, but every year around Valentine’s, Ellie could never bring herself to go out and party, spend time with friends, or ask anyone out on a date. Last year, specifically, she recalled her ever-growing crush on Dina. She also remembered last year, Dina was dating some boy named Dylan that left Jackson with his family just months after they broke up. They dated for about two months.

This year, of course, Jesse just had to be in the picture. Dina and Jesse were on and off, back and forth between hating each other and wanting to hook up. The amount of times Dina came to her, enraged, upset, hurt at whatever Jesse said or did, she would lament to her all of her insecurities and all of her issues with him.

Whenever Dina would tell her how ugly she felt with him, or how he would talk to her like shit when they argued, Ellie wanted to grab her by the face and kiss her breathless. It hurt to know that Dina was with someone who didn’t care for her, not like she did. Maybe it was immature or childish or just plain selfish, but Ellie wished they would break up and Dina would come running to her. But that was only in her dreams.

“I mean, _no,”_ She repeated, more forcefully to get her point across. “I’m not gonna ask her, dude.”

“Why not?”

Realistically, she knew Dina wasn’t into her, despite her naturally flirtatious and touchy nature with her best friend. She never could bring herself to ask her out on a date or go out with her, regardless of her relationship status. Most times that she even contemplated it, she would plan on doing it, be just about ready, and then miraculously, Jesse and Dina would make up and go back to whatever they called “normal”, only to repeat the cycle every couple of weeks. Ellie concluded it was a waste of time, and decided to save herself the humiliation and just spend the day alone in her room. It was better off that way.

“Because, Iz,” she groaned. “She’s got Jesse, she has her friends. She’ll probably be out to a party anyway. I don’t even _like_ Valentine’s Day that much.”

“She and Jesse have been broken up for weeks,” she argued. “You know that, right?”

Ellie scoffed. “Give it ‘til Friday,” her tone was sad and disappointed. “Believe me, that’ll change.” The jealous burning on the back of her tongue hissed so evidently that she was surprised steam didn’t surpass her lips.

“Dina’s done now, trust me,” Izabelle insisted. “She told me herself.”

“When did she tell you that?” Her eyebrow rose with disbelief. “Two hours ago?”

“You don’t have to be such a jerk,” She grumbled. “Listen, El, it’s a little obvious that you’re kind of in love with her. You don’t think she doesn’t realize that?”

She would be lying if she said what Izabelle said didn’t cause her heart rate to spike. But she refused to let it get under her skin enough that she asked what she meant. If Dina knew, and if she’s known for a while, it was possible that she simply ignored her unfortunate feelings and pretended like they weren’t there. That was an outcome Ellie did her best to avoid thinking at all costs.

“Okay, I’m not _in love with Dina,”_ It was kind of a lie. “I just… think she’s cute.” She admitted. Blood rushed to her face even saying “Dina” and “cute” in the same sentence.

“You’re a terrible liar, Ellie Williams,” Izabelle teased with an amused smile.

Blushing silently for a moment, she quickly and stubbornly shook it off. “Listen, I’m not asking her, okay? You can stop bugging me about it now.”

Izabelle sighed with disappointment in her and in her decision. “You are quite possibly one of the most clueless, stubborn lesbians I’ve ever met.”

“Really?” Ellie shot her a doubtful look with a raised eyebrow. “How many of those do you know?”

“Two,” she replied with a proud look on her face as she shrugged slyly.

“Okay, well you know _one,_ because _I’m_ not one of them. Who’s the other, huh?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Izabelle winked with a smirk.

Ellie dramatically rolled her eyes at her friend. _“Okay,”_ she exaggerated her tone. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Well, maybe not a _lesbian,”_ She backpedaled with a cute, innocent giggle. “But she’s pretty damn close.”

“Okay, Iz,” She still wasn’t buying it. “Whatever you say, moron.” She retorted playfully, leaning over to the chair next to her and rubbing her hand in her hair, messing it up, prompting a squeal of protest from the small, pure girl.

“You really are a jerk!”

“You know it.”

***

There was something about Dina that Ellie couldn’t understand. It wasn’t hard to realize for her, but Dina had this completely possessive way of taking over Ellie completely. Every hug, every touch, every time she played with Ellie’s hair – her mind would wander to the most sweet and sour places. It would roam to the most dangerous thoughts, the ones she least expected to happen but her body yearned for anyway.

The things she said sometimes, the things she did, just the way she touched her – it left her reeling and completely addicted. Dina was addictive. And she was so fucking flirtatious with her, too, it just made it so much worse. There were times that Dina just tugged on the collars of her shirts and flannels, or brushed her hand just a second too long over her biceps, or traced her jawline seductively with one finger. Those ignited the most sinful, gruesome fantasies in her mind.

One time Dina got so drunk that Ellie had to carry her home on her back, and when she set her down on the couch, Dina tried pulling her down by the shirt onto the couch, and her lips ended up on her jawline. She didn’t stop kissing, so Ellie had to use whatever strength she had to pull herself up to her feet and place a blanket over the woozy girl. That memory replayed in her mind for weeks, nonstop plaguing her with the dirtiest thoughts while she laid in bed, or while she rode out on patrol, or while she was literally anywhere alone with her thoughts. Even then, months later, that encounter was so powerful, it had so much of a hold on her, she still thought about it. Over and over, the one time Dina had shown to have an attraction to her.

The next morning, she barely remembered it. But she noticed the way she looked at her after that, the way she’d catch her eyeing her up and down and watching her biceps move and flex with every movement of her arm, or any time she exerted any kind of force on anything. After that encounter, it seemed like Dina’s eyes were much more open and wandering, like something had broken inside her, and a whole new side of Dina was borne to the world. To Ellie and her world.

Everything about that girl was attractive. When she wore Ellie’s clothes, Ellie found herself wanting to rip them off. When she licked her lips or smirked, Ellie found herself wanting to kiss her so hard it knocked that snarky look right off her face. When she walked or moved her hips, Ellie found herself wanting to feel up and down her body, touch her hips, feel her soft thighs with her fingertips and her mouth.

She wanted to slap herself every time she let herself drown in those thoughts.

Not to say Ellie wasn’t flirtatious back, but she was definitely the more easily flustered out of the two. There was no explaining what Dina’s flirting and her tempting did to her. It drove her crazy with desire and want. She wanted her in all the ways you could possibly think of. She wanted thhe pleasure of calling Dina her girlfriend, but she also wanted the pleasure of being able to ravage her against her bed.

What was she even thinking? Dina had Jesse, after all.

But Izabelle’s words still rang in her mind – that Dina had told her she was done for good. And Izabelle was very convinced that Dina felt the same way about her… but then again, it was impossible because she was Dina and she was Ellie. Dina was her best friend, and nothing more. Despite all of the dreams and fantasies and the need for her, Ellie knew that, at the end of the day, Dina was just her best friend, and that was that.

***

“So, what’s your plan for Valentine’s, huh?”

Riding on horseback and talking to Dina while out on patrol was definitely among her favorite things to do, like, ever. They had so many memorable conversations riding their horses out on patrol, especially if it was just the two of them.

“What do you think, shithead?” Ellie shot back immediately, knowing Dina was just pushing her buttons. “What I do every year, all the time.”

“Sulk?” Dina teased. “Sit up in your room with some of Joel’s finest spirits and waste the night away?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Dina laughed as they continued to ride off, a comfortable silence rolling over them. The snowy woods at sundown were always so peaceful. Whenever Dina was around, she felt instant peace. And with the setting they were currently in, she knew that she would enjoy this moment as much as she could while it lasted.

“The sunset is so pretty,” Dina said aloud, admiring the blazing orange through the tips and cracks between each spruce tree.

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed, voice just above a whisper. “It is.”

They were tasked with the night shift, though Ellie didn’t mind much at all. She worked her morning shift until noon, and at six, she and Dina headed out to start their night patrol. As the moon began to rise and darkness fell over Jackson, they made their routine way over to the cabin northwest of their trail. They would take a few hours to rest while the other patrols out would rotate paths with them.

It was a nice-sized cabin – about two or three of Jackson’s homes combined. It was spacious and rustic, a favored spot for most patrol members and teenagers. Both got different uses out of it.

In the backyard, they led the horses to the big shed and opened it up for them to climb in. Obediently, they slowly stalked in, hay and old carrots still littered around the floor from previous uses of the shed. They secured the horses in the space, brought the latch down, and let them rest for the night.

Nights in Jackson during the winter were always inevitably cold. Taking shelter from the frosty wind and the nearly negative temperatures was always a relief.

Dina audibly shivered after closing the door behind her and Ellie. “Lord, it’s freezing.”

Ellie huffed out a laugh. Her first course of action was beelining to the fireplace and placing down fresh logs she recovered from the garage. Dina headed for the kitchen to seek out the working stove and fridge to store their valuables and warm up some of their cans and veggies they brought along.

It didn’t take long to get a nice fire started – the wood was dry and rough and the match caught fire in seconds. There was no greater peace in a harsh time like this than watching a small flame spurt and spit and spread along the face of the wood, leaving nothing but a blackened ash path in its wake. Fire was just universally calming.

“How we looking over there, Red?” Dina called from the kitchen, followed by the pots and plates hitting against marble countertop.

“All good,” Ellie responded. “She’s warm and toasty.”

“Like her maker,” Dina teased with a chuckle.

“I’m warm and toasty?” Ellie laughed at the adorable comment.

“Damn right you are.”

“You’re fuckin’ weird.”

“Maybe,” Dina’s smugness was just too much to handle sometimes. “But you’re hot.”

Her constant flirtatious comments were enough to drive her up the wall. Her face flashed with heat, but thankfully, she couldn’t see it. “Ha ha,” she responded dryly.

“You’re not gonna say it back?” She feigned devastation and innocence.

Ellie scoffed. “You don’t need another ego boost.”

“Fuck you.”

She could get used to this, she thought. Living in a space, alone, with Dina. Having Dina making a cute little dinner while Ellie readied a fire. The only thing they were missing was a TV, but she didn’t mind much. Who needed a TV when she had Dina? She was far, far more interesting, anyway.

“Almost ready, ma’am,” Dina interrupted her thoughts by calling her for dinner. “You should come set the table.”

“What am I? Five years old?” Ellie challenged. “I’m nineteen and you’re sure as hell not my mother.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” She joked, her smile evident in her speech. “Just get over here, jackass. I have food.”

Reluctantly, Ellie groaned as she rose off the couch and to her feet, heading over to the long, shiny, polished wooden dining table fit for an entire wealthy family. But tonight, it was just her and Dina.

Taking the end seat, she watched from afar as Dina scrambled around the kitchen, getting the plates ready and finishing some pots on the stove. Ellie couldn’t help but take this wonderful opportunity to admire her. Staring from across the way, she took in all of Dina’s fine features – her shoulders, her waist and hips, her thighs and legs. The way her fair, freckled face looked so good, so hot, and she was so lucky to be this close to this beautiful woman, but far enough to safely be able to take in all of her.

Turning and meeting hazy, lustful emerald eyes from a good view away, she smirks and eyes her up and down – those devastating, intoxicating eyes – in response, and its completely harrowing. Ellie felt all kinds of jolts running down her spine, through all the nerves in her body. _What is happening?_

Dina turned away far too fast for Ellie to process the moment farther than she had. There was so much tension surrounding them, there was so much unspoken, raw emotion between their two souls, connecting them in the most human and animalistic way.

Placing the plates down, Dina took her seat right beside Ellie, just to her right on the side of the table. The corn and steamed carrots and broccoli overtook her senses, drowning out the sensual moment of contact they’d shared, taking Ellie’s mind away from it completely as her other animal instinct of hunger conquered over it, putting it to the back of her mind for the time being.

“All this talk, and you still have yet to tell me what you’re actually gonna do for Valentine’s,” Dina broke the silence with a grin, watching zoning eyes come back to Earth and back to the present at her words.

Shaking her head with a smile, Ellie scoffed. “You never give it a rest, do you?”

“Excuse me for being interested in your personal life. I really don’t have to be, you know,” Dina jested as she brought a fork full of steaming hot vegetables to her mouth and let them fall in. Her jaw moved in a cycling motion as she chewed softly. Ellie hates that _that_ was the first thing her eyes gravitated to.

Rolling her eyes, she was quick to snap out of her trance and give a response. “I’m not doing anything, Dina. I already told you.”

Dina hummed with disappointment. “Boring.”

“Boring?” Ellie repeated, outraged by her sly comment. An eyebrow plastered itself on her forehead as she stared at her with judgment.

“Yup,” Dina refused to look her way, she smugly took another bite from her fork, nose up in the air.

“Okay then, hot shot,” She grumbled. “What have you got planned then? I bet it’s something big.”

Suddenly, Dina’s face seemed to drop slightly. Outwardly, she was calm and stoic, but Dina was Ellie’s favorite open book – she loved to read her. There was no hiding any emotion; they sat behind those thrilling, murky eyes, and Ellie could see the shift in her eyes, her face. The darker, sad undertones became bright in that beautiful, freckled face.

“Well, Jesse and I were supposed to go camping and then partying,” Dina scoffed with irritation. “Guess that’s not happening now.”

“Aw,” There were no words to describe the relief and excitement she felt at Dina’s words. Ellie was just such an amazing actress. “I’m really sorry, do you wanna talk about it?” Part of her felt terrible for her – she loved Dina, and never wanted to see her hurt or upset or confused. Most of her, on the other hand, didn’t feel bad at all.

“Honestly? There’s nothing even that important to talk about,” she furrowed her eyebrows before continuing. “He’s a piece of shit, and I called it off with him almost four weeks ago. I told him that I was unhappy, and that I hated the way he treated me sometimes. And instead of being, you know, understanding maybe, no, he calls me a selfish bitch and throws me out.” Ellie’s knuckles turned snowy white while gripping onto the fork in her hand, the anger surfacing to the back of her throat. Thankfully, she didn’t notice.

“Good riddance,” Ellie retorted, trying hard to hide the ferocity in her voice. “He doesn’t get you at all.”

“No, you’re right,” she sighed solemnly. “He really doesn’t.” After a brief moment of silence, she picked back up. “I wasn’t feeling it. I was trying to convince myself that, hey, maybe I’m just dumb and I’m caught up on someone I can’t have, so maybe he’s the next best thing.” Ellie visibly winced at her statement, feeling that pain as if it were her own. “Maybe that’s really wrong, but getting scared of and wrapped up in your own feelings can make you do some irrational shit. Things with him just didn’t feel right, because every single time him and I weren’t together, I was only ever thinking of someone else, and wanting someone else’s attention.”

A tinge of hope struck her then. “You got caught up on someone you can’t have?” The pieces were beginning to connect in her mind, despite the looming doubt she felt rising.

An anvil dropped in her stomach. So, it wasn’t just Jesse she had to worry about, then. There was a whole other person that was standing in her way, one she didn’t even know about. It was infuriating, all of it was, but she swallowed it for Dina.

“Yeah, and I still am,” she confessed. “I’m still just… very confused… on where we stand. Because it clearly feels like there’s more than we think there but I just don’t know if they’ll really understand that, or maybe they won’t feel or think the same way and continue on with their life without even sparing me a glance.” She sighed in the silence. “I’m just confused.”

She swallowed her feelings that sat in her throat like a painful lump. “Well,” Ellie reached over to take a soft, small hand in her own. Dina looked up at her, the disheartened look turning to a hopeful one as she got lost in Ellie’s eyes. “I can say on behalf of myself that I think you’re beautiful and wonderful. Anyone would be damn lucky to have you. So, if I were you, I’d say fuck it and go for it. Invite them out, get them alone, talk to them, you know?” At the end of the day, she wanted Dina to be happy. Her advice wasn’t malicious or fueled by anger or guilt. She wanted the best for her. And part of her, in the back of her mind, had some kind of idea that maybe, just maybe, it was her she talked about.

It took Dina a moment to process her words, but she seemed to get it in the end. A smile creeped up on those pretty lips and everything seemed to brighten around her as Dina’s face lit up.

“Okay, I think I will.”

***

It was nearly midnight when they decided to pack up camp and get some rest. They’d finished their dinner, cleaned the plates, and restored whatever food they didn’t use into the fridge until the morning. While Dina finished that, Ellie was getting their blankets and the spare sheets stored away in one of the cabin’s closets.

“Where are we sleeping, exactly?” Dina asked, emerging from the kitchen opening and slowly strutting over to the couches. She was hot in her movements; she was being a tease and she knew it.

It was almost as if their honest conversation from earlier never even happened. They continued about their business like it was nothing but a typical, amusing conversation like they always had. But something about the way Dina was eyeing her and looking her up and down – it started to become clear that maybe Ellie’s suspicions of this person was. She was looking right at her.

“Why do you care?” Ellie asked impassively. “Is there a special arrangement you’re looking for?” Her tone was teasing, just enough to match hers.

“Maybe,” she shrugged, a smirk tugging her lips upward. Leaning her head over to the side to get a good look at the taller girl, the words falling so oddly seductively off her lips. “Maybe not. I don’t know, Williams.”

“You’re being weird.”

Dina released a breathy laugh. “Okay, Ellie. I’m being weird.” When she took a quick glance at each couch, she realized how Ellie had set up the sleeping arrangement – one pile of blankets was neatly placed on the loveseat, while Ellie’s messy bundle was on the couch. “Okay. What the fuck is this?” Dina demanded.

Ellie was taken aback by her sudden forcefulness. She took a confused look between the couches. “Our beds?” Her eyes were widened with light surprise. “Why?”

“No, no, no,” Dina groaned, dramatically grabbing her head and taking a hold of the pile of blankets only to throw them down on the same couch Ellie had assigned to herself. “I’m not freezing to death tonight, sorry.”

With a forceful shove, Ellie’s back was on the couch. She caught herself on her elbows, propping herself up to watch Dina as the smaller girl climbed up the couch on her hands and knees. Ellie’s legs were spread and she was still propped up when Dina began to crawl up between her thighs, their eye contact never breaking.

Shivers rocketed down her body and spiked through her nerves. Watching Dina crawl up her body, never disconnecting their heavy eye contact was enough to make her lose control right there on the spot. This girl was just too much.

Stammering and flustered, Ellie couldn’t help but protest. “Uh… Dina… What are you…?”

Dina gave her a confused look, and when she was all the way up, far enough for her liking, she let her body fall limp against Ellie’s, her head making a smooth landing on her chest and her arms wrapping around Ellie’s toned waist. Her whole body was between Ellie’s legs and she was pressed up comfortably on the body of the redhead beneath her.

“Ah,” she sighed contently. “So much better.” She nuzzled into Ellie’s chest comfortably before closing her eyes with bliss.

Ellie’s mind had been racing a million miles an hour replaying the view of Dina crawling up her body again and again. The way her eyes beaded into her own, the way she seductively looked up at her as she slowly made her way up closer to Ellie’s face – it just wasn’t something friends did. It wasn’t something even best friends did. And the way just seeing that went right to Ellie’s lower half, that wasn’t something a best friend felt, either.

“You comfortable there?” Ellie tried with all her power to not sound shaky as she said it, but her voice quivered slightly as the exciting nervousness raced through her, the adrenaline at what she was thinking and what Dina did still prominent in her bloodstream.

Dina chuckled against the soft fabric of her long-sleeve dark green shirt she wore, taking in the scent and Ellie felt her body relax. “I really am.”

Despite the wild thoughts swirling through her mind, Ellie felt at peace holding Dina in her arms on the old cabin couch, beside the warm fire on a cold, frosty night.

“Thank you,” Dina suddenly whispered, catching Ellie completely off-guard.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and she glanced down at the half-asleep girl. “What for, dork?”

“I don’t know,” Dina’s voice was just barely above the softest, sweetest whisper. “Listening? Talking to me? Being in my life? Whichever one you want, just choose.”

Ellie couldn’t help but smile. Blood quickly rushed to her cheeks, igniting her skin. Her heart swelled in her chest and everything felt fuzzy. Her skin tingled and her stomach flipped.

“No problem. To all of them,” she joked back, but at this point, Dina had basically fallen asleep entirely. Her facial features had softened, and she looked so peaceful that Ellie didn’t dare to move. At some point, she fell asleep herself, with her last thoughts being how warm Dina’s breath felt against her chest, and the way her body encompassed Dina’s smaller one, and that she was, inevitably, in love with her.

***

“You still going to that party?” Ellie asked, glancing over at the horse and rider beside her. Dina’s black hair shone in the morning sun, tucked back in its usual bun, and she saw her lovely smile reappear at the question she asked with that teasing tone.

“Probably,” she scoffed playfully. “You’re going, right?”

“What?” Ellie shot her a confused look, but still, her smile stayed. “Where did you pull that conclusion from, dickhead? I told you yesterday I wasn’t going.”

“Okay? And?” Dina tested. “I was hoping you’d change your mind.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Oh, come on,” She groaned with disappointment. “Please? Just come.”

“No,” Ellie insisted. “Stop whining, you big baby.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Dina pouted. “You’re really gonna let me down on the day of love?” Ellie couldn’t stand her sometimes. Dina brought her horse over, closer to Ellie and hers, leaning over and trying to rest on the taller girl dramatically. “This hurts me more than I can say!”

“Get off me, freak,” Ellie nudged her off, disrupting the horse’s stride and making him shake his head and return to his original position, a few feet away from Ellie.

“Ouch,” Dina whined, stabilizing herself on her horse. “You’re so mean.”

Ellie laughed lightly. “Just go have a good time. I’ll probably play guitar, or go to the park or something to keep me from sitting home alone in my room. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Maybe not,” she agreed. “But I don’t have any aspiration to sit there and get drunk on a holiday that means next to nothing, especially to me.”

“You’re literally no fun,” Dina repeated, more forcefully this time. “I wanted to spend tonight with you.”

Those words alone sparked a fire in her stomach. Dina, the most beautiful girl she’d ever met, wanted to spend Valentine’s night with her? Ellie’s mind would have a fucking buffet with that idea later.

“D,” Ellie said more firmly, but the grin never left. “You’re cute, but really, go have a good time with your friends. I’m sure you’ll forget about me within the first hour.”

“I definitely won’t,” she assured. “I’ll probably be missing you the whole time.”

Another flap of the wings of the butterfly that sat in her stomach every time she was anywhere near Dina.

“I’m sure you’ll be just fine once the alcohol kicks in,” Ellie joked, desperate to change the subject to avoid being convinced to attend. “Who else is going?”

“Ty is hosting,” she answered plainly. “All of our friends, Izabelle, Mikey, June… all those guys are going.”

“That sounds like fun, dork. I’m sure it’ll be a great time.”

“I was really hoping I could drool over you tonight,” Dina sighed with feigned disappointment. “Whatever.”

Crimson flashed across Ellie’s cheeks. It was just another one of Dina’s oh-so wonderful tactics at flustering her. Despite her constant staring as of lately, she hardly believed she would ever be staring at her at the party.

“Ha ha,” Ellie responded in a deadpan. “I’m sure you’ll look hot, too, and everyone will be busy staring at you, anyway.” She surprised herself at her smooth retaliation, even though she was flustered as could be.

“Why don’t you come and see for yourself?” Her obvious advances were just too obvious, and Ellie knew how to shut down her everlasting confidence.

“Generous offer. Tempting, honestly. But I’m okay.”

“You really are no fun,” Dina huffed.

“You love me.”

***

They reached Jackson around the mark of nine in the morning. They briefly chatted back and forth after their conversation regarding the party, but nothing much else was exchanged. Ellie would be lying she said she wasn’t very tempted to show up and surprise Dina. She wanted to show up dressed nicely, she wanted that attention from Dina. She wanted the satisfaction of knowing Dina would be eyeing her down, admiring her, wanting her. Or, at least, that’s what she had hoped. In her mind, that’s what she hoped. But she wasn’t too sure of it.

Parting ways at the stables, Ellie hastily headed home, hoping Joel was around to have someone in the house with her. Truthfully, she didn’t mind being alone. She needed her peace and quiet. But, at that moment, having someone around would’ve felt really nice.

Opening the door with a sigh, she dropped her bag and removed her boots by the door. She heard a distant vinyl playing – one of Joel’s favorite records – so she knew right away that he was home.

“Joel?” She called out, walking over to the couch to take seat on her sore bottom. Horse riding wore out your backside, she concluded.

“Hey, kiddo,” He called back, emerging from the hall a few moments later. “How was patrol?” He asked kindly.

“It went alright.”

He hummed. “Good. Who were you with?”

“Dina.”

Joel’s grin was unmistakable. His eyebrows shut up for barely even half a second before he spoke. “Dina, huh?”

“Yes,” Ellie shot him a snide, angry look, but she couldn’t help the smile that formed at her teasing father figure. “Yes, Dina. Why?”

“How’d it go?”

“It went fine, Joel,” her response was monotone, as she knew just what he was trying to do. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no, I was just wondering,” he shrugged innocently. “Are you going out anywhere tonight?” He took a seat in the armchair.

“Nah, I’m just gonna stay home.”

Joel seemed almost surprised. “Your friends aren’t doing anything?”

“They are,” she answered nonchalantly. “But I’m not really in the mood to watch them all get wasted and have to babysit half of them. I might take a night patrol. Speaking of which, do you have one tonight?”

“I do.”

Her face brightened then. “I’ll take it,” she said suddenly. “Let me go instead.”

“No, El,” Joel protested. “That’s dumb. Your friends are gonna be havin’ a good time. Go out with them.”

“No,” Ellie whined. She started to sound a lot like Dina. “Please, let me just take it. I really want to.”

Joel was always weird about Ellie even going out on shift, let alone taking his and risking herself out there more than she needed to. Whenever there were organized border and settlement patrols, he would give whoever was in charge a hard time if they sent Ellie too far. It was irritating, but she knew it came from a good place, so she didn’t mind so much at the end of the day.

“Ellie…” he sighed, very reluctantly.

“Please, Joel,” she was desperate at this point. “I’ll do anything you want me to for a whole week. Just let me take this one.”

“It’s a solo patrol…”

“Even better!” She exclaimed. “Please, Joel?”

He sighed with defeat. “Okay, fine. On one condition.”

If they had close neighbors, there was a likely chance they could hear Ellie’s groan through the walls.

***

The whole time she walked to the stables to get her horse and prepare her gear to head out, all she could think of is Dina and the party and how she traded her shift with Joel instead of going. Part of her was relieved and content with her decision, as she believed it was the smartest option, and then the devil on her shoulder whispered about how she regretted not attending the party and how she was missing a perfect opportunity with Dina.

The stables were just in sight. While she was physically down on Earth, her mind was up in the clouds, clouds full of Dina and the dizzy feeling of her breath and her fingertips and her eyes on her. There were so many ways to describe the feeling, but the dizziness was just too much to handle sometimes.

Maybe it was lusty obsession, maybe it was desire, maybe it was genuine love and admiration for the girl. But Dina was all over, everywhere, a constant in Ellie’s mind. There was no confirmation of Dina having anywhere near as raw and pressing affections as Ellie did, but that didn’t matter. Ellie was willing to sacrifice everything in her life to be with her. She stumbled into her life many years ago, and she completely possessed it. At the end of the day, the attention she got from Dina was worth the anxiety and the heartbreak that followed. Ellie was addicted to how Dina fucked her life up.

Unhooking her horse from the leash connecting her to the lead tied to the fence, she sighed with defeat as her mind slowed down. Taking a hand and bringing it up to the horse’s thick neck, she gave it a few slow strokes to comfort herself before taking her out of the stables and down to the gate to get her gear.

Joel’s rule: someone had to go with her. Another groan emerged from the back of her throat. He promised he would send someone to the gate to meet her for the patrol. She had no idea who, but all she knew is that she wouldn’t be alone, despite how much she pleaded.

Throwing a long rifle around her shoulder and equipping a pistol in the holster on her belt, she loaded herself onto her horse, and waited impatiently. She was bummed – she was hoping to spend the night by herself, alone out in the woods and the cabin and with the horse. Everything about that seemed appealing at the moment.

But when a familiar shape came running for the gate, horse on a lead galloping behind her, suddenly that mood changed.

“Ellie, wait!”

She nearly had to wipe her eyes to make sure she was seeing it correctly. Dina was running toward her with her horse, clad in a winter coat, jeans, boots, and her backpack.

“What the hell…?” Ellie whispered in disbelief under her breath. “Dina?” She called back in complete confused shock. Oh, what it did to see her racing to catch up with her.

“Wait up, fuckface!” Dina shouted, pulling herself up onto her horse as it slowed down, grunting as she landed on its back and pulled its reigns to a halt. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“On… patrol?” Ellie was speechless. “Where do you think _you’re_ going? Aren’t you supposed to be at the party?”

“Supposed to be,” She shrugged, the largest grin plastered on her face. “But I have better things to do, anyway.”

Ellie’s heart swelled in her chest. She was still terribly confused, but she was so pleasantly surprised. “How did you…?”

“Joel told me,” Dina cut her off. “He said you switched patrols, and he said he wanted someone to go with you. He asked if I had any plans, and I said no.” The wink she threw her was enough to make Ellie’s stomach drop.

“You’re kidding.”

The smaller girl laughed at her disbelief. “No, I’m not. Let’s go, slowpoke! The cabin awaits.”

“Right,” Ellie muttered, watching Dina whip the reigns and take off through the gate. “The cabin awaits.” With a quick thrash, Ellie was on hot pursuit behind Dina, off into the woods.

***

They reached the cabin in record time, the horses tucked away into the shed, and the fire started and warm. The two girls were prepping food and together that time, preparing beans and small cuts of deer they packed to fry.

Ellie set the table this time. Dina did exactly what she did the night before – she prepared their dinner. It took nearly a half hour just to get food out on the table. The typical, chilly Jackson wind blew against the glass and the frames of the cabin, painting the edges with white frost.

“Ms. Williams,” Dina put on a show of placing the plate elegantly in front of her.

“Thank you, my dear,” Ellie retaliated with the same dramatic force. “Ah, this smells lovely. You are always just so good to me.”

“Oh, why, of course,” she turned to retrieve her own plate.

Taking a bite out of the deer meat, she hummed in approval. The flavor was delicious – perfectly seasoned. She always admired how good Dina was with food.

“My compliments to the chef.”

Dina fought an obvious giggle as she brought her plate over to sit in the same place she sat the night before. “I will be sure to give them to her. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.” Suddenly, a light sparked in Dina’s face. “Oh! I forgot I brought something.”

She ran off towards the direction of her backpack. A few moments later, she came back holding two large jugs of bourbon. Ellie’s eyes immediately rolled to the back of her head.

“You’re literally an alcoholic.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at the taller girl’s implication. “And you’re literally such a party pooper,” she shot back between chuckles.

Ellie dismissed her joke. “Honestly, I need some. Hand me one.”

They took down both bottles in no time alongside their dinner. As the alcohol began to play in her system, all of her fears and anxieties began to shrink away into nothingness. She started to become worry-free, and, as she usually did when she was drinking, she felt the confidence building in her chest.

Dina was always bold when she was tipsy. So, when Ellie went to help wash the dishes in the sink, Dina came up behind her and hugged her, her hands roaming around a toned waist, as if Ellie wouldn’t notice. But she let her fingertips trace between the dips in her abdomen, and if Ellie turned, she could’ve guessed she would’ve seen a devious smirk at the way toned abs felt against her fingertips.

“Ellie,” she slurred, stepping away from the girl to continue cleaning off the table. “Maybe I’m just drunk. But you’re hot. And I’m glad I came tonight.”

She had enough sense still left to get flustered at Dina’s words, but she swallowed them amidst her confidence boost. “Oh, really? Why are you glad, huh?”

“Because I wanted to be with you tonight,” she answered honestly. “I wanted to be here and I wanted to see you. It’s Valentine’s, after all.”

Ellie shook her head with a roll of her eyes, but the sweetness behind Dina’s slurred words really sunk into her skin and absorbed into her nerves, sparking the butterfly feeling in her stomach and making her dizzy with adoration.

“I wanted to go to the party,” Ellie turned suddenly, stopping her chore, in disbelief of the words passing her mouth. “I wanted to see you there. I wanted to spend tonight with you, too. I only wanted to go for you, D. I wanted you to see me and stare at me, I wanted to get that chance with you tonight.”

Dina froze in place, that smug smirk she wore from getting hands-on action on Ellie’s body disappearing at a rapid rate. She was leaned up against the opposite counter, but she was frozen, frozen and speechless.

“I wanted to ask you to go to the party, actually, but I chickened out last minute,” Ellie admitted shamelessly. She was reminded why she never drank in front of Dina. “I talked to Izabelle about it – she said you seemed interested in going. She was convinced you’d agree in a heartbeat, but I didn’t believe her. So, I just opted out.”

Still, no words came from the shorter girl across from her.

“Maybe it’s just the bourbon talking, because I know I never would’ve said this had we not drunk, but _fuck,_ I’m infatuated with you. I’m obsessed. You’re on my mind all the time and I hate you for it, but I fucking love you at the same time. And I don’t know what your deal is with Jesse now but I seriously have been waiting to tell you this for probably about two years.”

Dina was completely in shock. Taken aback, her fingers fiddled against the countertop.

“Maybe it was stupid to tell you now, and maybe I’m gonna hate myself in the morning for it. But the amount of times I almost just kissed you, at parties, at my house, the times you _slept in my bed._ I almost kissed you because I’ve wanted you for so long. So, there.”

It took a minute, but Dina snapped out of her surprise but when she did, there were no words exchanged. She cleared her throat like she was about to speak, but it came out strangled. “I… um… wow, I…”

Ellie immediately felt her heart drop to her feet. _Shit, that was such a mistake._ “I… I’m sorry… I-”

“No,” Dina cut her off before she could say anything else. “No, please don’t apologize.” Her eyes looked up to meet hers, black orbs blazing into green ones. “Please don’t ever take that back.”

The shocked, confused look on Ellie’s face prompted a short, life-changing statement out of Dina.

“I wish you would’ve kissed me all of those times.”

No sentence had ever taken her so far back.

“I wanted to kiss you, too,” she admitted. “I wanted to so bad. But I didn’t want to do that to you, with everything with Jesse.” There was a dark, lustful look that took over as her eyes dilated. “I want to kiss you right now.”

Ellie’s response was immediate, it wasn’t even her own. “Then kiss me.”

It didn’t take long for Dina to quickly make a path right for her, her arms pushing her off the counter and giving her the strength to crash her lips into Ellie’s. Both pairs of bold lips were instantly responsive, Dina kissing her with a great force and Ellie responding back even harder. The ferocity of Ellie’s kissing caused Dina to gasp lightly, especially when Ellie grabbed her by her thin waist and switched their positions, pushing her up into the counter she was leaning on.

They lost themselves in lost years of pent-up want and need. The taste of Dina’s lips was electrifying – it was better than anything Ellie could’ve ever imagined. Dina’s hands raked up and down Ellie’s chest, one loose hand roaming down her sculpted shoulders and feeling at her solid bicep.

Ellie reached down to hoist Dina up by the thighs, and the second Dina realized she jumped right up in. Their strands of kisses never broke. In fact, the only time they were interrupted was when Ellie threw her down on the couch and crawled up her body, much like Dina did to her the previous night.

A hand found its way into Ellie’s hair, and before she knew it, Dina was aiding her to her neck and chest, where Ellie peppered wet kisses all over the exposed skin. Gasps and fragile moans fueled her to continue, and eventually, Dina was putty in Ellie’s hands.

But something in the back of her mind snapped, especially when Dina’s hands found the hem of Ellie’s shirt and started to pull it up her body to maneuver it over her head.

“Dina,” she whispered against frantic lips.

“Yeah?” She asked breathily in between kisses, continuing to place her lips on Ellie’s repeatedly even after she asked.

“We probably shouldn’t get carried away,” Ellie chuckled, completely out of breath. “We’re not all there right now.”

Dina groaned in protest. “But I want to,” she whined, making it so hard to say no. “I could go all night with you.” She whispered seductively, taking one of Ellie’s hands by the wrists and trailing it down her stomach towards the button of her jeans.

Ellie had to gently take her hand away. “Believe me, I want to, too. But I’d feel bad doing it now, in this setting, while we’re a little tipsy.”

“Lighten up, Williams,” she pressed, teasing with a smirk. “Take it for what it is when a girl is trying to get you in her pants. It’s _the day of love,_ after all.” She giggled at how she dramatized it.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” she started to lift herself off.

“No,” Dina protested, arms outstretched. “At least just… cuddle me, will you?”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Alright, dork, fine.”

She placed herself back down, laying facedown into Dina’s chest and wrapping strong arms around her.

“Thanks for making my Valentine’s night special, shithead,” Ellie teased, breath muffled by the fabric of her shirt.

Dina grinned and mumbled back, half asleep. “No problem, dipshit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> This is another of the Tumblr requests I received for these two.
> 
> My tumblr handle is @lmontyy, and I take any and all requests, (so long as they're not unreasonable or crazy!) but I'm very easygoing when it comes to writing, and do enjoy writing for others. Any and all questions or inquiries may be directed to my inbox here or on tumblr. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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